Today Joey and I were talking about driving a car, he's still not of age yet but wants to know. I told him the story about your first driving lesson we had, took you to a big open parking lot and put you behind the wheel. You did everything by the book and I was slightly amazed at how well you handle everything, so I said go ahead and drive us home, at that point everything went south. You did great getting onto Sunrise highway, did not speed and all was well till the first red light. Without even slowing down you made a right turn ( signal on of course) on red into a main intersection, barely ahead of a large truck  and acted like nothing was wrong but that changed when I yelled to pull over NOW. After chewing your butt about making right turn on RED , you reply was 'But Dad it says in the book that right turn on red is allowed what are you getting so upset about? With that you took out the book and read what it said about right turn on red,and gave me the book to read, after reading the section I asked you what the first sentance said, you replied Right turn on red is permitted. I said O.K. what does the book say after that, you said in New York state. Gave you back the book and told you to read it outloud to me, right after permitted came out of your mouth , you stop , put the book away and said in a very low voice after a full stop........... That turned out to be a joke between you and me. I pass that red light everyday and it always bring you back to me for a short while.

Thinking back today of the times we brought Mom and Dad toast with Jelly in their bed for breakfast in bed.. and the time you and Tommy thought it would be great to put the little non-parells all over it. lol. I remember you adding those little silver shaped sprinkles too. The coffee we made was like mud, but boy how proud we all were of that meal!

Over the years your culinary skills certainly improved, and you became an awesome cook. Calling Mom, Dad or me for recipe suggestions or to share the recipe of something new that you made. Heck, you even text me with some new recipes for shots at the bar!! hahaha.

God Doug, I miss you so much. This pain is so unbearable at times. Wish you were here to make more memories with, we had so many more to make. Now who the hell am I going to chase around in my wheel chair 60 years from now??

Miss you, love you

Missing ya, kid.  Remembering the years we spent camped out in one of our homes (yours, Chris', Carmine's, mine... didn't matter).  Wishing I had been a better man and not let time get away from.  You were a better man than you ever gave yerself credit for, Doug.  Better than the credit I get, and of greater calibre then some of the folks I credit these days.  Words are meaningless pablum.  But... I miss ya, Doug.  Keep the bleachers warm for those of us soon to join ya.  Love you, brother.

Last night I was laying in bed tossing and turning and pictures just kept popping in to my head. Visions of so many things we did as kids and teens, and even as adults. Living, laughing and just having great times always, no matter what we could always pull each other through anything.
One memory kept replaying over and over. I have no idea how old you were actually. If I had to guess, I figure you were around 14-18 MONTHS old. You and I were in your old room at home, now named the Den. I climbed in to your crib to play with you. It was late in the evening. I kept putting my arms out to get you to walk to me across your crib. You would step, then fall down, then laugh like crazy, which made me laugh so hard too. Then Mom came in. I knew I was in trouble for being in your crib. But you got up and took some steps towards me, never taking your eyes off of Mom. She smiled so bright when you landed in my arms. Completely forgetting that i was there in your crib, lol, which I am sure i had been told a million times NOT to do. She was so proud of your walking. We spent what seemed like hours in that crib with you walking back and forth to me. Laughing and pointing at the Seseme Street curtains, then running across the crib. It was great! Then Dad came and got us out and we all went to see Star Wars at the Drive In movie. Had to have been the first time ever for that too. I remember playing Peek-A-Boo with you using a blue blanket in the station wagon that night. Interesting, i don't remember much of seeing Star Wars though. LOL. Guess we were busy having fun :-)
Geesh Doug, I remember it like it was yesterday. Memories are all so vivid. I wish you were here so we could make more memories together. 31 years of them was not enough.
I love you Doug. Thanks for always being my everything and giving me all these wonderful memories.

One year and two months ago you departed this world for, I hope, a better way/place. Memories of you are always with me and at times they bring me to tears, other times I still laugh at what we had together. I can remember the soccer games and the determined look on your small face. Remember Disneyland? You got hurt just like your brother did, went to the same hospital and you enjoyed being in the lime light with your little hand all wrapped up. I can remember being the barbecue cook at your July 4^th parties, talking to the cops when they showed up wondering what the Hell was going on and yes also being the party bouncer. So many memories of you wherever I go, Dunkin Donuts, soccer fields, bowling alley, Pontiac dealership, shooting range but the one that really gets to me is the sight and smell of the ocean, Oh how much you enjoyed that. I can remember the first time I took you fishing, we went to pier and nobody was there but us, you didn’t care that you didn’t catch a large fish, just a very small one; you just enjoyed the sights and smells. While we were at the pier a very friendly old gentleman came along and He and I got to talking, you just kept  fishing and paid no attention to us, never did tell you the old gentlemen stated nobody fishes at this pier anymore, no fish around. Some of my memories have been filed away in my mind and they jump right out when something comes along that brings it out. Today I ran across all your awards you save from the junior bowling league you were in at 300 Bowl, everything came back, our first father/son tournament, my sitting at the table watching you develop that super high backswing, your first 200 game and yes some of your very bad games. What stands out the most in my memories of you was your strong determination to be the best at whatever you were doing and guess what my son you were the best. All I have left of you is memories and I’m sorry to say it is not enough, I want the hug, the smile and the Hey You just one more time.